I think we can all say with confidence that these last twelve months have truly felt like twelve years, haven’t they? I can certainly “amen” to the fact that this chaotic season has brought massive trials to my own life I would have never have imagined. Just when I thought I was beginning to get a grip on life, the Lord laughed and said, “Hmm, actually Noah, you’re about to see that you don’t know as much as you think you do.” He was right.
As anyone who is close to me can tell you, I am not someone who is particularly good with transitions. So naturally, when multiple heart-breaking let-downs began to unfold leading to radical changes in my goals, daily routines and personal relationships, questions began to arise. These were deep questions that related to God’s nature and His plan for me. They were soul-searching questions about how I was to live out my faith in this world of constant struggle. They were convicting questions about myself and how I needed to be transformed to better represent Him. Can anyone relate to this? Despite the pain, there was beauty on the other end of the trials and questions. These questions, albeit humbling to work through, proved to be exactly what I needed in order to become radically conformed into the image of Christ. The apostle Paul reverberates the truth about the eternal results of suffering by stating in a methodological order in Romans 5:3-5 that “…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
In reality, I am thankful for this last year, because it has shown me that God’s hand is on those whom He has called, and that He is doing a work in the believer… a work that will end with the hope of Christ, which will never put any of us to shame. I am thankful for this work, because it has changed my heart and continues to do so.
Okay, fantastic… but what does any of this have to do with running? Well, interestingly, everything!
You see, it wasn’t until trials had been placed continually and quickly on my lap that I began to ask the right questions about my own life. Before this year, I was content with holding an image of who I thought I was supposed to be - namely, a high level athlete, who acted, spoke, and led others in a specific way. After experiencing a lot of hurt from several people in several situations, my broken heart brought my perceived self face-to-face with the Creator. There was no hiding anything from Him any longer. The question had to be asked… who am I?
Since about 6th or 7th grade, I have labeled myself as “Noah Tindale, the runner.” That was what I took pride in. If someone asked me, “Who are you?”, my short answer was, “I’m a runner.” If someone asked me, “What do you like to do?” it was always, “I like to run.” I didn’t think there was anything necessarily bad with that statement. I was just being honest. That was who I was, or at least who I thought I was.
Besides, who wouldn’t think that way when most of the school praised you for your accolades? Who wouldn’t think that way when that was why many people knew your name?
With this mindset, most of high school and the beginning of college consisted of a rigid training plan and a dedicated mindset to perform well. I told myself that the only way that I could share God with my friends was if they saw me as a fast runner. I couldn’t conceptualize it being any other way! My desire was to work hard in my discipline so that I could win races with my friends and hopefully share the truth of God’s salvation through Christ in the process.
Initially, this mindset truly did work out for me. I ran extremely fast times as a high school track athlete. The races that I ran certainly did become a means by which I could share the Gospel to other athletes. I can look back and recount several conversations where I went “Wow, God, thank You for using me to show others who You are.” Did I do it perfectly? Not at all, in fact I didn’t even know what I was doing most of the time. Yet, I believed I was making a difference. Sitting here now, I genuinely have joy in my heart thinking about the different experiences that I went through with my team both in the races and outside of the races.
Here’s the thing. Sometimes when you know that God has given you a gift, you begin to cling onto the gift as if the gift itself is God rather than clinging to the God who is the ultimate gift Giver. Through my own thoughts, through others’ praise of me, and through fear of letting others down, I began to believe that running was my identity. It became difficult for me to see that I had any other aspects to my personhood other than a nice guy who could run laps in a circle at a fast pace. Oh man, I was digging a deep hole for myself and didn’t even know it. Instead of cultivating other areas of my life, I hadn’t taken appropriate care of my mental and emotional health. It seemed on the outside, I was in touch with my full self, but in reality I only knew half of who I was. I knew the hard-working, athletic, driven person who was at the forefront, but the other half… the creative, musically inclined, spontaneous person… not so much.
A few months through the earlier portion of this previous semester, I found myself at a very low point. I was a collegiate athlete who others saw as a lively, joyful person with many athletic gifts, but deep down in secret I was a hurting, broken person who needed to know I was loved and cared for as a full human being. My soul was torn between the runner that I thought I was, and the new creation that I knew the Spirit was leading me to become. And boom, it was here in my college dorm, that the questions brought forth freedom. These questions led to a deeper study of Scripture, a deeper devotion to genuine prayer and a deeper fellowship with others who I knew truly loved me. These questions led to action and to a holistic desire to know God fully. When running is put aside, who am I?
I cling to the words that my youth pastor wrote in my Bible just weeks before the start of the semester…“Urgent in Obedience, Patient in Timing.” These words have convinced me, that even in the depths of my confusion and broken heart, I was to obey God’s Spirit and experience healing, and to know that eventually He would reveal truths about being fully, completely and holistically His child. Romans 8:15 was a lightbulb moment for me: “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!” That was it. That was the moment I switched my outlook. God had done what I, nor anyone else, could have done for me. He set me free from sin and death and I was adopted as His child. His FULL child. Prior to this revelation, I thought I was “Noah Tindale, the runner, who also loves God.” Now, I realize that I always was Noah Tindale, a beloved, complete child of the Risen King, whom Christ bought with a price, and who was created to know God and enjoy Him through all of the gifts He has given me.
I bring these things up because I believe that there are many Christian athletes who are, unfortunately, deceived. Whether it be by culture, or by a person’s own thoughts, or by another’s admonition of a particular gift in an athlete, it is very easy to believe that an athlete is simply defined by what he or she does, and not by who God says he or she is. For me, I am beginning to step into the fact that I am a whole human being, who is more than just a runner. Yes, running is a gift to be stewarded well, but it is not everything. When I am emotionally and mentally healthy, when I have the right friends and family bearing my burdens with me and when I abide in Scripture, I am a complete person. As a result, running becomes an outflow of worship, rather than something I am in bondage to. The grace of God is such a burden-lifter to those who call upon His name! His grace is a comfort that should be embraced. Christ’s yoke is easy and His burden is light for all who call on Him.
The Jim Ryun Running Camp Ministries have had a massive impact on my life in this way. Jim and Anne Ryun are two Godly individuals who have embraced the truth that they are fully loved by God and a have purpose that goes deeper than running. Their mission is to let young athletes know the same truth that they have experienced. Jim may be known for his times and accomplishments on the track. However, he will forever be remembered for the way he knew his purpose in Christ and lived it out to impact young runners.
So, reader, runner, student, coach, or parent: who do you say that you are? Young runners, I encourage you to enjoy the sport of running and remember that God is using your gift in the sport to teach you something deeper about His love for you. He is drawing you closer to His Spirit so that you will walk according to His mission for you, which is greater than you can even imagine. Be His! Be fully His. Discover other gifts in your life that God has given you to complement your running and embrace questions during the changes. They are good in the end. Maybe you can look at your own life and fill in the blanks: “I am _____________, a beloved, complete child of the Risen King, created to know Him and to love Him through the act of running and other gifts.” Freedom is awaiting, and boy, is it plentiful.
God bless and much love.
